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A Message From Your Soul

The only reason we are here is for our souls to learn.

The only way we can learn is to understand ourselves.

The only way we can understand ourselves is to listen.

The only life we are meant to listen to is ours.

The problem we have is that no one has ever taught us how to listen to our souls.

What our souls are working on isn’t a surprise. In fact, every single moment of every single day that we have both lived or are yet to live we get hints. Everything is a hint. How your health is right now is a hint. How your body feels  ̶  do you have any aches or pains? Who is in your life right now? Are there people in your life that you love being with? Are there people in your life who get under your skin? Do you feel drained? What job do you have? What sport do you play? What do you eat? What hobbies do you like? What is your favourite movie, number, colour?  Where would you like to go for a holiday? How do you react to things?

The answer to each of these questions isn’t the answer our soul is looking for.

To find the answer that your soul is looking for, you have to ask a question to that answer. The question, the only question, if we are ever truly able to answer it, will give us the key to discovering who we are and what we are doing here.

The question is WHY?

When we think of the concept of listening, we turn our attention to what I like to call the outside  ̶  other people, their opinions, their rules, their experiences, people-pleasing and how to avoid feeling guilty. It’s like we take on other people’s beliefs about things or experiences. We decide what their opinion is and we adopt it as our own, without ever having lived or experienced it ourselves. Add to that the ‘expectation rules’, which are made up of what everyone else will think and the comparison of myself to everyone else so I can climb on top of that ladder of society’s expectations, which is where I can finally feel good about myself. This is where our Earth selves get all their life information from. Like how do we get to live happily ever after? Of course, it’s from living by these rules, which is also the only way to achieve success. Isn’t it? Don’t we need a stable home life, a good education, a well-paying job, children that are successful- in the eyes of society, an occasional holiday and enough money to retire on? Comparing ourselves and our achievements to everyone else and what they do is how we are meant to live; after all, that’s what we have been taught from the moment we were weighed at birth.


Rarely, if ever, do we turn our attention to inside, to ourselves, to listen to how we think, feel, or react to something; because rarely, if ever, do we make any decision where ourselves and even our thoughts have truly and completely disappeared from everyone else’s.

When I take someone’s history in my clinic, people get to ‘review’ their life thus far. When any of us review our life, it goes something like this…

When I was (insert age here), My parents ………, I was abused by………, I was bullied at ………, I got really ill and ………, I had an accident and ………, My ……… cheated on me, My ……… died, etc.

That list doesn’t end until our lives do. This is how we look at life, by what happened to us and who was involved. This is how we see our success, and this is also how we blame life if we think we didn’t achieve what we deem to be success. By blaming other people and situations we are then absolved of being responsible for what happen’s in our lives.


Instead of us using why to look in towards our souls and to discover what we are trying to master, we turn our why outwards and say, why me? Why did this happen to me? We compare ourselves to everyone else and their lives to ascertain the fairness of it, which, more often than not, leads us to feeling deflated, disillusioned and even betrayed by life. In fact, we compare our versions of what has happened to ourselves and others almost like a silent competition. There is a trump card for everything. It’s worse if someone cheats on you rather than leaves you. It’s worse if you have a stillbirth rather than a miscarriage. The higher up the list of ‘worseness’ we have, the more likely we have an unspoken list of reasons why we think we or other people have an ‘excuse’ or an out card not to be able to achieve the Earth success that we are meant to achieve. The phrase ‘there is a reason for everything’ is almost passed around now like a flippant way to brush something off, rather like the phrase ‘shit happens’. But instead of asking the soul question ‘why?’, we use the Earth answer why as an excuse as to why we think someone didn’t achieve their potential to be successful while they were here on Earth. They were bullied, sexually abused, raped, gang raped, saw their parents murdered in front of them, watched their child die, watched their whole family die. Of course, everyone has their own reason why.

Imagine if we could look back on our lives and say, ‘I am in awe of what I have created.’

In all honesty, our soul self always will. It’s time to bring our Earth selves on board.

Let me invite you to look at things a different way. To look at your life from your soul’s perspective.

Soul Talk:  I want to learn how to…                          

I want to learn how to truly accept myself.          

Earth Walk: Then I will ensure that you…

Then I will make sure from early on that you feel rejected, whether it be your family unit as a child, friendships, or general life. I will ensure that you go through experiences in your life where you feel part of something, where you feel like you fit in just to remind you how good it feels, only to take it away from you, so you feel alone, unloved and broken. I will continue to provide opportunities in your life where you can get the acceptance and love and completely fit in, feeling from other people and life experiences, whether that be friends or work or hobbies. And then I will completely take it away again, leaving you again lost, alone and broken, so you can question everything about yourself. I will continue this pattern throughout your life no matter what, until you actually begin to look inwards to begin to feel this feeling of being accepted, loved and fitting in from within. Until you start to rely on yourself. Until you begin to see the positives in you. Until you start to believe in yourself no matter what, without relying on other people, events, moments or things in your life to get this feeling of loving who you are. And when you begin to do this I will then challenge you. I will try to tempt you to see if you will come back to the old way of relying on the outside, the people and things to give you this feeling again. And when you succumb to the outside way I WILL take it all away again, and I will continue this pattern without stopping for the duration of your life. And when you die I will show you the agreement we had, and together we will look back on your life in awe. We will see together all the reasons why your life is what it was. You will see a miracle. You will love yourself. When you only rely on yourself to accept yourself, to truly and unconditionally love yourself, then and only then will you find Heaven on Earth. Then you will have peace. Then you will have happiness.

Your challenge is to do this before you die.

Imagine when you die that you get to sit on a park bench, on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a beautiful sunset. You have one person with you. It can be your higher self, a guide, your guardian angel, whoever you are most comfortable with. The important thing is that they knew what your plan was or rather your WHY. Why you wanted to come to Earth and what you wanted to learn.

When you begin to talk, you will review your life as you have done many times on Earth. Going through events in your life, who was there, what happened to you and who did what.

It may go something like this. I was the youngest of four siblings. When I was eight my dad had an affair and left. When I was 10 I was bullied at school. When I was in high school no one liked me. When I was  dating, three of my partners cheated on me. When I was 23 I became a nurse. When I was 32 my partner left me with three kids…

Your higher self will listen and nod and smile and be patient, and when you are finished they will then gently rest their hand on your knee and invite you to again go through your life. However, this time you are not allowed to mention any other specific person, you aren’t allowed to mention any event and above all you cannot BLAME. You are only allowed to mention HOW YOU FELT.

Try this. It’s really challenging to only say how you felt. However, it does take everyone and everything else away and the only thing that you have left to focus on is you. No comparisons, no blame, no distraction, just you. Like living on a deserted island with no one else around. When we take everything away, the only thing we have left to listen to is our soul.

How you felt is the key. It’s the language of your soul. It’s how your soul does, has, and always will communicate with you. 

If we take any event from your life, there will be an emotional response from you. That true emotional response is the key. Once we find out what that emotional response is, then we start to understand our soul talk. We can now ask the soul question: why? What is my soul trying to learn? The answer to why will be the exact opposite or rather the positive side of that emotion. The true emotion for each of us may be quite different even if we have experienced the same event.

The opposite to how you felt is what your soul is working on. This feeling you will find you have been trying to get from other people or events in your life, it won’t have worked. The only person who is able and meant to give you this feeling is you.

Here are some basic examples, but please note that everyone’s personal reaction can be specific to them.


EVENT                                                                  FEELING                                               WORKING ON


Only child                                                              Disconnected                                         Connected

                                                                            Not fit                                                  Belonging


Parents separated                                                    Unloved                                                Loved

                                                                            Not heard                                             Listened to

                                                                            Rejected                                               Accepted/Wanted


Abused                                                                  Powerless                                             Empowered

Bullied                                                                   Unaccepted                                          Honored


Death                                                                     Abandoned                                         Connected

                                                                             Not safe                                             Safe


When you look at the major and then minor events in your life you will find a pattern beginning to emerge in the emotions that you have repeatedly felt.

You will begin to start listening to your soul. You will begin to see how clever your soul is. Even though the circumstances or events that allude to these feelings may be entirely different, the feeling they leave behind are often the same. When we see a pattern of feelings like abandoned, rejected, not good enough, unworthy, unimportant, unable to trust, betrayed, etc., we then get an idea of what we are working on, why we came here, what we are trying to learn. What we are trying to learn will be the opposite to this.

If you have felt unimportant many times throughout your life, you probably haven’t even realised you have often dismissed yourself and your needs because you are chasing after the “outside” feeling of important. You now find that you rely on other people or things – like your work, events, people’s opinion of you or things you achieve, that will give you that feeling. Amazingly your whole life has been a hint to you on what your soul is working on, which is in fact treating yourself as being important to you – no matter what happens in your life and no matter who is in it.

Interestingly if we listen to ourselves or other people talk we will actually say what we are working on. It’s like we know or rather our soul knows and it’s trying to tell us and we are unable to hear it.


How many times have you been talking to someone and more than once they say “I felt so left out, or betrayed, or abandoned, or so alone, so unloved or unappreciated.” But never do we think that’s a hint about how important it is for them to treat themselves the opposite way to this.” Instead we sympathise and join in the tirade against the person “who did this to them” or better still we try to make it better for them and tell them how much we love them thus continuing the patter for them to try to get this feeling outside in (from other people, things or events) Rarely if ever do we say hey this feeling comes up a lot for you, it could be what you’re working on.


When we begin to turn what we are working on, back towards ourselves and then rely on ourselves to give this feeling to ourselves, life will begin to change. When we understand what we are learning, you will find that you are less reactive to things, you are less angry, more positive, feel more in control and more connected. You will begin to feel empowered in lots of situations in your life that you haven’t before. You will begin to see things from a different perspective, from your soul’s perspective. This will enable you to enjoy things that you never thought you would. Instead of living in a ‘Why me? That’s not fair; How come it always happens to me?’ place, you will find a new freedom and peace with whatever happens in your life. You will be able to answer with: ‘Oh, I know why that would happen – I understand why I would invite that into my life.’ By beginning to see your life from a completely different perspective, you will find an empowerment come over you, a knowing, a peace. This is the beginning to finding Heaven on Earth.

By beginning to look at our life inside in is the start of being able to hear what our soul is trying to tell us. All the answers have always been right in front of you.

Before you die, challenge yourself. Review your life by your Earth perspective by what has happened to you. Then review your life from your soul’s perspective: no events, no people, no blame. This is the beginning to finding Heaven on Earth. This is the true way to find happiness.

After all, the only person who actually is in your entire life from birth to death is you. Don’t you think it’s time we got to know ourselves?


Mel Ryan         100% You

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